Former NFL Star, Joe Barksdale talks about his experiences growing up and how his journey through school and life has shaped his perspective on mental health.
Back to School is an exciting time for young people, filled with new opportunities and fresh beginnings. However, it can also bring stress, anxiety, and fear of the unknown and for BIPOC, LGBTQ+, and girls, these feelings can be even more intense. Questions about acceptance and belonging may weigh heavily on your mind. Whether you are starting school for the first time, transitioning to a new school, or moving away from home, these challenges are real and unique. New friendships need to be formed, and old ones might be left behind and the pressure of exams and finals can add to the anxiety.
Our Head In The Game – Back To School campaign is dedicated to addressing these concerns. We aim to explain, champion, and support teens through a series of social media resources, posts, and collaborator stories. Our mission is to champion young people’s mental well-being during this critical period in their lives while also helping parents and caregivers with the tools they need to support young people.
Joe is a multi-talented individual who has successfully navigated a career in the NFL, emerged as a passionate mental health advocate, and unexpectedly found himself delving into the realms of comedy and music. We asked Joe some searching questions about his experiences growing up and how his journey through school and life has shaped his perspective on mental health.
‘The biggest piece of advice I have is that we don’t know what tomorrow holds until we get there. Oftentimes, we tell ourselves a story about the future that rarely, if ever, happens the way we think it will. I myself have fallen victim to this time and time again. So, I say we should live one day at a time. Not in the past or the future, but in the moment, doing what we can now and addressing tomorrow when it comes.‘
Do you have any top tips for young people to help them cope with uncertainties?
‘I think having a strong sense of identity is crucial when dealing with uncertainty. Knowing who you are helps establish your personal beliefs so that when trials and troubles arise, you are shaken but not crushed. I’d also suggest journaling. Sometimes things happen to us that we want to talk to people about, but we don’t know how to put it into words. Working these thoughts out in your quiet time helps you communicate them better when you want to talk to someone you love and trust, without feeling misunderstood or unheard.
Accepting that all of life is uncertain is also important. We can make the best plans for our lives, but then one thing can throw everything off. Learning to roll with the punches and realizing that your response to things that happen will serve you better than making plans that may fall through.
Mike Tyson once said that everyone has a plan until they get hit in the mouth. Life will hit you in the mouth at times, but the key to overcoming is your attitude and response to what happens.’
‘The sad reality of life is that not everyone is going to like you, and there is nothing you can do to control that. I can’t tell you how many times I’m surprised that people didn’t like those I look up to. Jimi Hendrix, for example, was one of the coolest people ever, but some people didn’t like him. You shouldn’t spend your time focusing on people who don’t like or accept you because at that point, you’re focusing on things you can’t control. What you can do is find a community of people who do accept you for who you are, who give you the love and help you need, and pour into them the way they pour into you. There will always be people who don’t like you, but there will also always be people who do. Not to mention, nine times out of ten, the most popular person in school is the most miserable anyway.’
‘Think of it as looking for stars in the sky; there is a lot of darkness at night, but that makes it easier to see the stars shine. Pay more attention to the stars.‘
What are some of your top tips for handling the pressure of exams and finals?
‘Study early and often. Many people wait until it’s too late to prepare and then stress out trying to cram and pray for a miracle rather than managing their time wisely leading up to the exams and being prepared. Proper preparation prevents poor performance. This means you may have to skip a party or event here or there to ensure you are properly prepared, but you’ll thank yourself later when you do well. Not many people adhere to delayed gratification these days, but that doesn’t mean you need to be one of them. When the tests and exams come, remind yourself of all the work and preparation you’ve done to get to that point. Doing this and having success will build confidence in the process for the next time you need to prepare for a final or exam.’
By not forcing it. You can’t be friends with everyone. Once you identify the people you trust and want to give time to, focus on those relationships. As more people come along and more opportunities present themselves, remind yourself that you can’t be friends with everyone. This takes the pressure off feeling like every single friendship has to work. The ones that are meant to be will grow and develop organically.
Friendships are like plants; some grow and thrive, while others die. Don’t spend time not watering the plants that are growing because you’re sad about the ones that died. Water the plants that are growing and don’t beat yourself up about the ones that die.
‘Some of the greatest people in the world never fit in, and that is what made them great in the end. Take it from someone who never fitted in at school; it may seem like the end of the world now, but that’s just a story you’re telling yourself. In reality, there is a big world full of billions of people outside of and beyond school.
There’s nothing wrong with being an individual, and I’m sure some of the people you look up to didn’t fit in at school either, but they still got to a point where people like you look up to them.
School is not your whole life; it’s just part of your life. Find the people you do fit in with and spend time fostering those relationships rather than trying to make sure you fit in with everyone or the wrong people.’
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Disclaimer: This website offers general information and is not a substitute for professional advice. We are not clinicians or trained professionals; this information should not replace seeking help from a qualified healthcare provider. Please consult a healthcare provider for personalized guidance.
